For my comp 1 class I had to write a 2-4 page multimedia memoir. I chose to write it over holding my dog Oreo while he died. As the multimedia I chose a picture of Oreo, and a poem. The poem I found was so beautiful I thought I'd post it here as well. At the end I will list the website it came from.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly fallen snow
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
of beautiful birds in circling flight
I am in the star shine of the night
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
This poem was taken from http://www.franscandles.com/petmemorialversespoems.htm
It would be a good site to go to for any of you who may be mourning for an animal companion recently lost, it has lots of beautiful poetry and I believe some other things as well.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
A Little Creed
For my Comp 101 this past semester I had to write about something I believe in, with all my heart. On that assignment, I should have recieved an F, because I completely failed. In the effort to write something good, I completely cast aside the need for honesty and instead just wrote what I wished was true. I now own-up to my dishonesty, and should my fraudulence to the world: this is what I don't believe in, at least not entirely.
Never Ashamed
Ryan Conover
English Comp 1
9/14/11
I believe nobody should ever be ashamed to cry. This is a belief I have held for almost a decade, but not always followed. When this belief first started to circulate in my mind, I was about eight years old. It was Christmas Eve. Sometime near two in the morning, I had snuck downstairs to see what was in my stocking and under the tree, but there was nothing. As I drudged back upstairs to my bed, I started to cry remorseful tears for looking; for daring to think that there would be something there. Other tears were shed for my humiliation-feeling so weak for crying-even though there was nobody to see. After a while my parents came up and consoled me that it was ok I had looked, there would be something for me the next day, and I did not have to be ashamed about my hysterical sobbing.
That night I learned a few important things: my parents really did love me, I would be taken care of, and emotion is not something to be covered up like dust under a rug. The first two have frequently changed through the years, but the last one has been engrained in my mind ever since. Now when I see someone mourning a loss, celebrating a victory, or anything in between; it does not make me feel uncomfortable. Not unreasonably so at least!
This is not to say, however, that I think it is acceptable to let your feelings hang out all the time. Emotions are beautiful and marvelous things, but how could we accomplish anything if they ruled our lives? This is also something I’ve learned from experience; the hardest way.
Last year I started my first job, and I really loved it; at first. It started well; I “prettified” the shelves of a local grocery store and made coffee there, it was a relatively fun job, especially if you have someone to talk to! However, it’s difficult to keep chipper when you’re getting sick, it’s winter, and your whole day has been rough.
One that particular evening I was fixing up the shelves of the freezer department, beauty products, and meat section. Due to my budding illness, I was working slower than usual; and ended up staying a quite bit later than scheduled. Now at this point I had two options: let my emotions take control or do my job and “git ‘r dun”. Sadly, I made the wrong choice. Naturally, I chose to get angry and frustrated, but this of course never helps a bad situation! At the time, it seemed like the only option. Although, looking back, I understand if I had reacted better it could have made a lasting impact.
Often times, Especially when I am feeling down or emotional, I anticipate with more vigor the good things I would like to happen. In my past, it was seeing my Dad for a couple days. In the present it’s things like going to some awesome sushi restaurant with my Mom, or seeing my boyfriend on his college breaks. Many times when I do not get to do such things, I’d let my emotions grab hold of me. It was horrible for a while; I was even medicated for a few months. Just the tiniest things would throw me over the edge. For example, at camp this past summer I had hysterics. It was humiliating, and I hated feeling so out of control. It was like someone else had taken over my mind and body.
After a few months of being medicated though, I noticed no difference; so I stopped taking my pills. At this point I had decided to finally take control of my emotions on my own terms, to be my own person, and not let other people mandate how I feel. Thus far I’ve been coping well, and realized that out of this as well there is something to learn. Everything I felt- pain and anger and hysteria-they are mine. They are a part of me! I have nothing to be ashamed of about myself-because I’m human-and we all struggle with something. There is always room for improvement, but why feel shame if you learn something and make the initiative to change?
Obviously, there are times when it is a great thing to cry. Maybe a funeral for a close family member or friend, when someone you love hurts you, or even for something good, beautiful, spiritual, or all three. Tears are part of the mourning process as well as experiencing great joy, and both are acceptable to anyone. Whether they be male or female, child or adult.
About a week ago at church, I stood in front of the congregation and told them about a vision or epiphany of sorts. After I was done, I went back to my seat. Not surprisingly, I was shaking from the nervousness. Once the sermon was over a lady from a row or two forward came up to me with tears in her eyes. After a moment though, I realized they were tears of joy. At first I was dumbfounded! Never before had I seen someone cry for a positive reason. She was crying because she was so touched that I overcame my fear and spoke. It was flattering, but it still amazes and astounds me that they weren’t tears of sorrow. It wasn’t embarrassing for her; it was just an expression of emotion. She was fine with that, and that takes strength. The kind of strength I strive for!
There was a time on my mission trip to Arlington, Texas this summer that I also cried for the right-yet different-reasons. It was sometime during the middle of the week, and my group had been in a poor apartment complex playing with and teaching some kids there. All week long I had been praying and hoping God would give me someone to help. Finally, I got the opportunity to bond with a little girl; her name was Gretchen. She told me about her life, and it broke my heart. That night I cried for her and her brother, her sixteen-year-old brother who can’t even talk anymore. There is never any shame in crying over a loss like that, especially when that little girl was being so strong for her family.
Even through the positive and negative ways I’ve reacted to emotional situations, there is always a ray of sunshine; this is another reason I believe you should never be ashamed to cry. All of life is a learning experience! Through the people I have seen and the way they show their feelings, their strengths and weaknesses: the things I have felt myself and the way I have shown them; I have learned. The way we react to any situation can impact us forever, but if we learn, if we grow, it’ll all be okay. No matter what things may seem like at the time, never, ever be ashamed to cry. This I believe.
Oh, now, I wish that I had written with truth in word and thought. That every tap of the keys weren't a strike against man and God. I am a liar, a sinner, a hypocrite, and a work in progress: this I actually believe.
Never Ashamed
Ryan Conover
English Comp 1
9/14/11
I believe nobody should ever be ashamed to cry. This is a belief I have held for almost a decade, but not always followed. When this belief first started to circulate in my mind, I was about eight years old. It was Christmas Eve. Sometime near two in the morning, I had snuck downstairs to see what was in my stocking and under the tree, but there was nothing. As I drudged back upstairs to my bed, I started to cry remorseful tears for looking; for daring to think that there would be something there. Other tears were shed for my humiliation-feeling so weak for crying-even though there was nobody to see. After a while my parents came up and consoled me that it was ok I had looked, there would be something for me the next day, and I did not have to be ashamed about my hysterical sobbing.
That night I learned a few important things: my parents really did love me, I would be taken care of, and emotion is not something to be covered up like dust under a rug. The first two have frequently changed through the years, but the last one has been engrained in my mind ever since. Now when I see someone mourning a loss, celebrating a victory, or anything in between; it does not make me feel uncomfortable. Not unreasonably so at least!
This is not to say, however, that I think it is acceptable to let your feelings hang out all the time. Emotions are beautiful and marvelous things, but how could we accomplish anything if they ruled our lives? This is also something I’ve learned from experience; the hardest way.
Last year I started my first job, and I really loved it; at first. It started well; I “prettified” the shelves of a local grocery store and made coffee there, it was a relatively fun job, especially if you have someone to talk to! However, it’s difficult to keep chipper when you’re getting sick, it’s winter, and your whole day has been rough.
One that particular evening I was fixing up the shelves of the freezer department, beauty products, and meat section. Due to my budding illness, I was working slower than usual; and ended up staying a quite bit later than scheduled. Now at this point I had two options: let my emotions take control or do my job and “git ‘r dun”. Sadly, I made the wrong choice. Naturally, I chose to get angry and frustrated, but this of course never helps a bad situation! At the time, it seemed like the only option. Although, looking back, I understand if I had reacted better it could have made a lasting impact.
Often times, Especially when I am feeling down or emotional, I anticipate with more vigor the good things I would like to happen. In my past, it was seeing my Dad for a couple days. In the present it’s things like going to some awesome sushi restaurant with my Mom, or seeing my boyfriend on his college breaks. Many times when I do not get to do such things, I’d let my emotions grab hold of me. It was horrible for a while; I was even medicated for a few months. Just the tiniest things would throw me over the edge. For example, at camp this past summer I had hysterics. It was humiliating, and I hated feeling so out of control. It was like someone else had taken over my mind and body.
After a few months of being medicated though, I noticed no difference; so I stopped taking my pills. At this point I had decided to finally take control of my emotions on my own terms, to be my own person, and not let other people mandate how I feel. Thus far I’ve been coping well, and realized that out of this as well there is something to learn. Everything I felt- pain and anger and hysteria-they are mine. They are a part of me! I have nothing to be ashamed of about myself-because I’m human-and we all struggle with something. There is always room for improvement, but why feel shame if you learn something and make the initiative to change?
Obviously, there are times when it is a great thing to cry. Maybe a funeral for a close family member or friend, when someone you love hurts you, or even for something good, beautiful, spiritual, or all three. Tears are part of the mourning process as well as experiencing great joy, and both are acceptable to anyone. Whether they be male or female, child or adult.
About a week ago at church, I stood in front of the congregation and told them about a vision or epiphany of sorts. After I was done, I went back to my seat. Not surprisingly, I was shaking from the nervousness. Once the sermon was over a lady from a row or two forward came up to me with tears in her eyes. After a moment though, I realized they were tears of joy. At first I was dumbfounded! Never before had I seen someone cry for a positive reason. She was crying because she was so touched that I overcame my fear and spoke. It was flattering, but it still amazes and astounds me that they weren’t tears of sorrow. It wasn’t embarrassing for her; it was just an expression of emotion. She was fine with that, and that takes strength. The kind of strength I strive for!
There was a time on my mission trip to Arlington, Texas this summer that I also cried for the right-yet different-reasons. It was sometime during the middle of the week, and my group had been in a poor apartment complex playing with and teaching some kids there. All week long I had been praying and hoping God would give me someone to help. Finally, I got the opportunity to bond with a little girl; her name was Gretchen. She told me about her life, and it broke my heart. That night I cried for her and her brother, her sixteen-year-old brother who can’t even talk anymore. There is never any shame in crying over a loss like that, especially when that little girl was being so strong for her family.
Even through the positive and negative ways I’ve reacted to emotional situations, there is always a ray of sunshine; this is another reason I believe you should never be ashamed to cry. All of life is a learning experience! Through the people I have seen and the way they show their feelings, their strengths and weaknesses: the things I have felt myself and the way I have shown them; I have learned. The way we react to any situation can impact us forever, but if we learn, if we grow, it’ll all be okay. No matter what things may seem like at the time, never, ever be ashamed to cry. This I believe.
Oh, now, I wish that I had written with truth in word and thought. That every tap of the keys weren't a strike against man and God. I am a liar, a sinner, a hypocrite, and a work in progress: this I actually believe.
Unjournalling, Day 3
This exercise was to write a paragraph using at least 10 words that rhyme with "be":
There was once a tiny butterfly, flying free. Its motion was flighty, yet it never missed a date with destany. The bubbly butterfly wafted down by the sea, into a tree, on past a bee, to land at last on the rim of a cup of ice tea. Frightened by a looming hand, the butterfly sped away, past even so far as an owl could see.
There was once a tiny butterfly, flying free. Its motion was flighty, yet it never missed a date with destany. The bubbly butterfly wafted down by the sea, into a tree, on past a bee, to land at last on the rim of a cup of ice tea. Frightened by a looming hand, the butterfly sped away, past even so far as an owl could see.
Unjournalling, Day 1
Recently I happened upon a book entitled: Unjournalling. My Mom purchased it for me several years ago for some basic writing exercises, and I think that I shall finally endeavor to use it. The first assignment listed was to write a paragraph about a girl named Dot without using and i's or j's.
Dot was a beauty, she had a heart of pure gold. Every week she would volunteer at the local food pantry, not to say her generous offers of labor to her local church. Sadly, her pet cat recently passed away. Now Dot be as crazy as a lark, and shall spend the rest of her days at a home for the helpless.
Dot was a beauty, she had a heart of pure gold. Every week she would volunteer at the local food pantry, not to say her generous offers of labor to her local church. Sadly, her pet cat recently passed away. Now Dot be as crazy as a lark, and shall spend the rest of her days at a home for the helpless.
Unjournalling, Day 2
The second assignment was to list three creatively silly things:
Silly is the small corgi who is afraid of spoons, loud noises, and hair dryers.
Silly is the blonde who's hair gets darker as she ages, so she bleaches it so that nobody will find out.
Silly is the little kid who runs around with balloons in hand, trying to static other people's hair, despite the frustration of his parents.
Silly is the small corgi who is afraid of spoons, loud noises, and hair dryers.
Silly is the blonde who's hair gets darker as she ages, so she bleaches it so that nobody will find out.
Silly is the little kid who runs around with balloons in hand, trying to static other people's hair, despite the frustration of his parents.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Breathe...
Today was kind of... Good and bad I suppose. I had a friend over, really fun. We played tennis and talked and she looked through a few of my voice books. It was so hot out though that after playing tennis I think I almost died haha. Jenny started voice lessons today, so she was asking me what to expect and such.
I'm sorry this is so scattered... Dead tired and rather stressed tonight.... Last night I slept horribly, my Mom had me shut my window so she could turn on the AC, but its broken so my room stayed 85 all night long. Didn't get to sleep until 8 this morning till around 11. Then I've hardly eaten, not because of anything substantial, I'm just so hot lol. Hopefully my headache will be gone soon.
I've been trying to exercise more the past few days too, I can see abs in my future! Exercising is fun, but it wears me out... Maybe as I get used to it things will get easier.
Was thinking about vlogging, but the other night I tried to use my camera and noticed it doesn't have a microphone and I've lost the cord... So much for that idea! Oh well, when I find the cord I might start posting pictures though.
Tomorrow is Wednesday (this is me imitating Rebecca Black, mwahahaha), so it's my happy day. Hopefully I'll get to see my sweetheart, destress, have my music lesson, maybe pick up some more applications. Youth group that evening, I hope I don't have to go alone. It kinda sucks :P. People always ask me where James is when he can't come, but I wonder some days if when I don't come anyone notices.
This fall I'm starting college, I'm so scared... Gas is expensive and the classes will be hard, I'll be all alone, blah blah blah. Can you tell I don't like doing anything by myself XD? Who will help me when I have trouble? Hopefully I'll make some new friends to hit up for assistance :P. Sadly I'm still waiting for an email from them about me having an account online to check up on... It'll be ok, just gotta breathe...
I'm sorry this is so scattered... Dead tired and rather stressed tonight.... Last night I slept horribly, my Mom had me shut my window so she could turn on the AC, but its broken so my room stayed 85 all night long. Didn't get to sleep until 8 this morning till around 11. Then I've hardly eaten, not because of anything substantial, I'm just so hot lol. Hopefully my headache will be gone soon.
I've been trying to exercise more the past few days too, I can see abs in my future! Exercising is fun, but it wears me out... Maybe as I get used to it things will get easier.
Was thinking about vlogging, but the other night I tried to use my camera and noticed it doesn't have a microphone and I've lost the cord... So much for that idea! Oh well, when I find the cord I might start posting pictures though.
Tomorrow is Wednesday (this is me imitating Rebecca Black, mwahahaha), so it's my happy day. Hopefully I'll get to see my sweetheart, destress, have my music lesson, maybe pick up some more applications. Youth group that evening, I hope I don't have to go alone. It kinda sucks :P. People always ask me where James is when he can't come, but I wonder some days if when I don't come anyone notices.
This fall I'm starting college, I'm so scared... Gas is expensive and the classes will be hard, I'll be all alone, blah blah blah. Can you tell I don't like doing anything by myself XD? Who will help me when I have trouble? Hopefully I'll make some new friends to hit up for assistance :P. Sadly I'm still waiting for an email from them about me having an account online to check up on... It'll be ok, just gotta breathe...
Friday, May 6, 2011
New Car, RIGHT NOW
Well, that didn't turn out like I'd hoped... My job working for my Uncle that is. They decided after like three days that my services would not be needed at this time. Not that I'd done anything wrong, just some family stuff. Still, its rather depressing, I really liked what I did! So now back to the drawing board.
So far I've applied at three places, Maurice's, Baskin Robin's, and Staples. Haven't heard back about any of them yet, but we'll see. Thing is, I'm picky! I don't want to work at a grocery store, or in fast food, I would be a waitress, but my Momma told meh not to go for that... I've thought about being a maid at a hotel in town, but I keep getting told not to because it's to nasty. Personally, I think I could handle it XD. One of my Madre's friends told me to ask about being a hostess at a restaurant, and I think that might be fun! Maybe I'll apply at a couple nicer places in town soon.
The world is falling to bits! At least my truck is... Shall we go down the list?
1: Door panel fell off, now held on with lime green duct tape.
2: Crappy gas mileage, 12 miles to the gallon.
3: Cracked windshield that needs to be replaced.
4: Broken tail light.
5: Tires deflate themselves constantly...
6: Funky accelerator!
7: Both front doors have to be slammed with a vengeance, otherwise they won't shut (very good workout, and its fun to get those worried stares from innocent bystanders :D)
8: The air conditioning doesn't work.
9: You have to hold the steering wheel crooked (tilted about 2-3 inches to the left) in order for it to drive straight...
10: Its 17!
If i didn't have so many memories (quite a few of which are fond) in this truck, I would totally despise it. However, I grew up in it, and its seats are comfy (if not leaning slightly to the left...). But, regardless of my newly budding sentimentality, I must consider buying a new car!
There are three (another three, why so many threes..?) cars that I'm currently looking at. The one that I most like is only 5 years old, its a Ford Focus with 89,000 miles. Lucky number two is a... seven year old? Ford Taurus, 145,000 miles. Oh, and its blue! Pathetic number three is 10 years old, also a Ford Taurus, and has 151,000 miles, plus a dent in the rear passenger door... It looks exactly like my Dad's though (which I love to drive) so I am very attracted to it. Not to mention its only $3,200 ^.^ And at this point I can't judge, pretty much any car I get will be an improvement, even another piece of junk.
As of next Friday I should have $350 saved up, and I'm hoping to convince my Mom to pay for half and then I'll make payments to her until the day I die! Doesn't that sound like a great plan?? No, while it may feel like forever, I must remember it's only until another hunk of metal on wheels is paid for. Then I get to start saving for something new! Woo...
So, my Madre also thinks I'm hypoglycemic! This be because I eat constantly and have sudden mood swings where if I don't eat RIGHT NOW I turn into a bitch. If I was... Well I don't know. It'd be a cool problem to say I have like "Hey, I'm 16, legally blind, and hypoglycemic!" Other than that though I don't really care lol. Either way my sun still shines...
So far I've applied at three places, Maurice's, Baskin Robin's, and Staples. Haven't heard back about any of them yet, but we'll see. Thing is, I'm picky! I don't want to work at a grocery store, or in fast food, I would be a waitress, but my Momma told meh not to go for that... I've thought about being a maid at a hotel in town, but I keep getting told not to because it's to nasty. Personally, I think I could handle it XD. One of my Madre's friends told me to ask about being a hostess at a restaurant, and I think that might be fun! Maybe I'll apply at a couple nicer places in town soon.
The world is falling to bits! At least my truck is... Shall we go down the list?
1: Door panel fell off, now held on with lime green duct tape.
2: Crappy gas mileage, 12 miles to the gallon.
3: Cracked windshield that needs to be replaced.
4: Broken tail light.
5: Tires deflate themselves constantly...
6: Funky accelerator!
7: Both front doors have to be slammed with a vengeance, otherwise they won't shut (very good workout, and its fun to get those worried stares from innocent bystanders :D)
8: The air conditioning doesn't work.
9: You have to hold the steering wheel crooked (tilted about 2-3 inches to the left) in order for it to drive straight...
10: Its 17!
If i didn't have so many memories (quite a few of which are fond) in this truck, I would totally despise it. However, I grew up in it, and its seats are comfy (if not leaning slightly to the left...). But, regardless of my newly budding sentimentality, I must consider buying a new car!
There are three (another three, why so many threes..?) cars that I'm currently looking at. The one that I most like is only 5 years old, its a Ford Focus with 89,000 miles. Lucky number two is a... seven year old? Ford Taurus, 145,000 miles. Oh, and its blue! Pathetic number three is 10 years old, also a Ford Taurus, and has 151,000 miles, plus a dent in the rear passenger door... It looks exactly like my Dad's though (which I love to drive) so I am very attracted to it. Not to mention its only $3,200 ^.^ And at this point I can't judge, pretty much any car I get will be an improvement, even another piece of junk.
As of next Friday I should have $350 saved up, and I'm hoping to convince my Mom to pay for half and then I'll make payments to her until the day I die! Doesn't that sound like a great plan?? No, while it may feel like forever, I must remember it's only until another hunk of metal on wheels is paid for. Then I get to start saving for something new! Woo...
So, my Madre also thinks I'm hypoglycemic! This be because I eat constantly and have sudden mood swings where if I don't eat RIGHT NOW I turn into a bitch. If I was... Well I don't know. It'd be a cool problem to say I have like "Hey, I'm 16, legally blind, and hypoglycemic!" Other than that though I don't really care lol. Either way my sun still shines...
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