Wednesday, January 11, 2012

What does it mean to be "feminine"?

As I was debating the topic on which to write (cleaning, cabin fever, dancing like a maniac with my best friend...), this question came to me: what does it mean to be truly "feminine"?
A few weeks ago I got a new pair of sweatpants. They're black with blue and teal letters stitched on that say something about Aeropostle. These pants are warm, comfy, flattering by conventional standards, and slightly to long. Right after I bought them, I walked into the living room to show them to my Mom who said "You know, I think you look for feminine in those pants than you do in your long skirts," (I wear a lot of long skirts). To this I had a brilliant reply! It was something about her merely being subject to the conventional rules of society regarding femininity, which translates into showing off your figure... and skin. She completely bashed my argument by saying she could actually tell I was a girl when I wore the pants since they showed that I possess legs.
That argument makes me wonder, do I need to show my legs and chest to be seen as a woman? If I do, I gather lustful attention, which obviously I do not approve of; however, when I wear skirts, people avoid me like the plague! Seems lose-lose to me.
In my religion class last semester, there was a decent amount of discussion on sexual equality (or lack of), particularly in Eastern religions. For example, in India there are lots of arranged marriages, particularly in more rural communities. Aside from the women being property aspect and often being murdered by the grooms family, the idea of arranged marriages in America seems horrific. A new side was presented to me though: that that way the girl can focus on her job and her family and religion and not need to worry about exposing herself to attract a mate.
Here in America in order to be considered "attractive" or even "pretty" you need push up bras and short shorts and low cut tops. Most people know this, of course. Why is this needed though? In our over sexed society, lust rules. Unfortunately, it is justified by saying that it's "natural", but that reduces us to animals.
So I petition a different way, one that I feel is often overlooked. Yay moderation! In other words, not wearing man clothes, feeling obliged to long skirts (unless you like them as much as I), and also not dressing up like a hooker. Shorts can be nice and feminine, but really ladies? I don't want to see your underwear hangin' out. It's just trashy. What about that GORGEOUS yet sadly low-cut top at the mall? Cami's are a girls best friend (especially the bright colored ones that can really spice up an outfit!).
Gosh, I sound old-fashioned... but smart girls, kind girls, modest girls, and the girls who don't walk like ducks to draw attention to the boobs and butts are the best kind. Not saying you can't kiss the boyfriend or wear a skirt above the knee, but having a line drawn is something that I wish I'd done from the very beginning.
This is very ramble-esque, so I think I'll stop now. Having a line drawn on cussing, clothing, boys, and the amount of pink you wear are all important to think on though ;)

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